


A Hounds Hiccups

by Nevermore_red



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, SanSan Russian Roulette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 19:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13371927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevermore_red/pseuds/Nevermore_red
Summary: Prompt by sassyeggs74: Canon-set, Kings Landing. The Hound has the hiccups and it's not fucking funny, dammit.





	A Hounds Hiccups

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SassyEggs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyEggs/gifts).



Sansa first started noticing the noises when she was following Joffrey around the gardens. She'd mostly ignored them. They weren't overly loud or distracting enough to take away her attention from Joffrey's current conversation about the looming attack from his uncle Stannis. Eventually the topic turned to Joffrey's battle prowess and Sansa's attention wavered. Instead she followed behind the men and courtiers in silence, taking in the beauty of the gardens and trying to picture what the glass gardens at Winterfell would look like this time of year. Only her thoughts kept being interrupted by an occasional noise, a noise that she was aware she'd been hearing for a while now, only didn't care enough to pay attention.

It was a rather curious noise. A soft sucking sound that ended in what could almost be described as a squeak. Instead of pondering of her lost home, Sansa set about trying to figure out what in the world that noise was. At first she looked around her, peeking into the bushes and up in the trees, wondering if it could possibly be some small animal. All she saw were flies and the occasional butterfly, a few dragonflies, but nothing that could be making that sound. An odd noise to one of the courtiers shoes, perhaps? She watched the feet of the group in front of her, but none of their steps matched up with the sound. And it didn't occur often enough to be with someone's steps.

There! It happened again. It was most definitely coming from somewhere behind her. She glanced back, at first at the ground, and then up. There was nothing there except the stoic visage of the Hound. He looked at her with a blank expression but cocked a brow when she looked too long.

Hm. Odd. 

Turning back around, Sansa quickened her steps to catch up with the group, not wanting to anger Joffrey any, especially when he had been leaving her well enough alone today. No sense in ruining that. But that noise! It was still happening every couple moments, and some of the courtiers flattering Joffrey even started glancing about.

"Someone should find that godawful animal making that noise and put it down." Joffrey spat at one point, looking around for the source of the noise. Which just happened to occur again at that exact moment. A moment Sansa had been peeking a glance back at the Hound. Even with his armor on she could make out how his chest jumped, not to mention the muscles of his throat worked. It took her only a mere second to realize what was happening.

Sandor Clegane, the fearsome Hound, was hiccupping. And he squeaked while doing so!

A sudden, long forgotten feeling of laughter bubbled up in her throat and she quickly bit her bottom lip so as not to giggle out loud. For whatever reason, the Hound obviously didn't want anyone to know that it was he who was making that noise, and Sansa didn't want to be the one to out him. She understood, of course. Anything Joffrey could mock he wouldn't let go easily. 

Schooling her features as best she could, Sansa turned back to Joffrey. 

"I think it might be a sick squirrel. Or mayhaps a rabbit, Your Grace." Sansa motioned towards the tree line. "It sounds as if it needs help."

"And you expect me, the King, to crawl about the woods to find it?" he narrowed his eyes at Sansa and she quickly shook her head. 

"Of course not, Your Grace." she assured him. "A King would never lower himself to do such a thing. Especially a King as great as you." 

Joffrey glared at her, looking disgusted at her courtesy, then looked back at the Hound.

"Dog, My Lady seems to be growing tired." he shifted his gaze back to Sansa. "Take her out of the sun before her skin freckles." 

"Yes, Your Grace." Sandor bowed slightly before motioning for Sansa to proceed him back towards the castle. They'd barely made it more than a handful of steps when he hiccupped again and now Sansa let out a small giggle at the sound.

"You laughing at me, girl?" he snarled from behind her, but his tone didn't frighten her.

"Of course not, Ser." she promised. "I would never do such a thing." 

"I'm not a fu- _hiccup_ -cking Ser." he growled and Sansa full out laughed, quickly slapping a hand over her mouth before she drew attention to them. But, oh, it felt so good to laugh in good humor once again. 

"No." she agreed with laughter still in her voice. "You aren't. Forgive me." 

"You find this funny, do you?" he asked when they reached the door of the castle. 

"A bit, yes." she admitted, turning to look at him when he stepped in front of her to open the door.

"Annoying, it is." he hiccupped to punctuate the statement and it was louder now that he was no longer trying to suppress them. And still ending in that squeak.

"I'm sure." she nodded, ducking inside and waiting for him to step inside as well before carrying on towards the stairs. 

"I feel you're gaining far too much amuse- _hiccup_ -ment from this." he declared as they made their way up towards her room.

"You do have to admit." she glanced back at him. "It is a rather silly noise." 

"A sick bunny, is it?" he narrowed his eyes at her, but Sansa didn't think he was angry. He looked almost amused at her amusement. So Sansa smiled and let out a laugh before turning back to the steps.

"It reminds me of the last litter of puppies I saw at Winterfell." she explained. "There was this one little on that would get a fit of hiccups every time he ate. Poor thing would hiccup and squeak and jump and scare himself. Every time." she laughed at the memory. "It was adorable." 

"Not quite so - _hiccup_ \- adorable coming out of a scarred and rabid dog, eh?" 

"The noise is still adorable." she cast a glance back at him to show him her smile, letting him know she was jesting. "Though you are far too large for the word adorable to apply to, I'm afraid." 

He snorted at that, a snort that was distorted quite amusingly by another hiccup. Sansa couldn't help but laugh once again.

The rest of their trip to her room was made in silence, only broken occasionally by another high pitched squeaking hiccup and Sansa's poorly suppressed giggles.

"It's not fucking funny, dammit." he growled once they reached her door, but there was no heat to his words, none of his normal harsh anger. 

"It might be rude of me, and for that I am sorry, but I will have to disagree." she smiled up at him. "It is quite funny. I can't remember the last time I laughed and meant it."  
There was a softness that passed over his expression for a split second, but he quickly masked it and scowled at her.

"Glad my misery could be to your own benefit." he glared some more, only for it to be ruined by another squeaking hiccup that made his whole upper body jerk. 

"I'm sorry." she kept smiling. "I'm being unforgivably rude. Please, come inside. I think I have something that might help you." 

Reluctantly, the Hound followed her into her room, leaving the door open and staying just inside it. Sansa moved to her table and poured a glass of the warm water from her pitcher. There was also a plate of sliced lemon next to it, to flavor her water, so Sansa took a wedge of it as well.

"Here." she went back to him and handed him the lemon first, and then the water.

"What's this?" he asked, eyeing both things.

"Take a bite of the lemon, swallow the juice. After that, drink all the water in one go. Maester Luwin had my father do it when he drank ale. Father always hiccupped after drinking ale." 

His grey eyes snapped back to hers and suddenly all the levity she'd been feeling quickly drained out of her.

"Not...not that what would work for a traitor like my father would work for a loyal Kingsgaurd like yourself, of course. I only meant that..."

"Enough, girl." he stopped her rambled apology. "No need for the production with me." With that, he bit into the lemon, the juice dribbling out of the burnt corner of his mouth where his lips couldn't fully meet. He wiped it away with the back of one hand, then quickly downed the entire glass of water. Once he was finished, Sansa held out her hands to retrieve the items. Dropping the lemon peel into the glass, he handed it back to her.

"I do hope that works." she told him sincerely. "And I hope my amusement at your expense didn't cause you any offense."

"Bugger all that." he waved her off. "It was a ridiculous fucking noise. If any other person had been making it I would have had my share of laughter at their expense." 

"Still." she lowered her head, looking up at him through her lashes. "I hope it works and that you find relief." 

"Relief?" he asked with a bitter laugh. "Hardly. Battles are coming. At least you got your laughter in before then."

Sansa nodded, not knowing what to say to that. She sat the glass down and followed him to her door. 

"Good evening." she called to him before shutting the door. She turned to lean back against it. And from the other side she heard it.

A high pitched squeaking hiccup. 

"Fucking hells." came his grumbled curse before she heard his heavy footsteps walk away.

Sansa laughed; laughed hard and long until her eyes were watery and her sides ached.

This day had been a rather good day. All because the Hound had a case of the hiccups.


End file.
